Bullying, isolation, rumours, threats, false allegations, ignorance, denial? Read this

Bullying in school

Case history #48

On my second day in secondary school I was shoved into the road by a girl in my tutor group. I thought she was playing, and so shoved her back thinking it was all a bit of fun. From then on she continued to make the next four years of my life a living hell.

Rumours circulated around the school and I gained a reputation. The same girl accumulated a group of other girls who continued spreading rumours, and began stalking me in the playground. The teachers accused me of bullying her, and cautioned my parents about my "behaviour". Roughly once a fortnight my parents would meet with the Headmaster and Deputy Head to make them understand that I was in fact the victim, but my school simply claimed that - and I quote from the Deputy Head - "we don't have bullying at our school". Nothing more was done.

It progressed three years on with silent phone calls to my home in the evenings, and also to my mother during the day from the class I was sitting in at the time. Of course it was this same girl again - she was arrested for stealing a mobile phone after my home number appeared several times on the phone bill. From then on the teachers would push past me in the halls and glare at me like some sort of criminal.

After the girl was expelled (not for bullying me. She was expelled for stealing from a teacher's handbag!) a group of girls continued the bullying. I was cornered on one memorable occasion in a narrow hallway and boxed in against the wall. A teacher arrived from downstairs and took myself and one of the girls aside. The teacher threatened me with further punishment if I continued my "behaviour". The other girls were simply sent back to the playground.

I was then bullied by a new boy, who after only two months in our school sixth form, sent me abusive internal email that I can only imagine was his reaction to the rumours spread about me years before. He then ignored me for the rest of the year, apparently on the advice of the Head of Sixth Form. He was then made Head Boy weeks later.

I left school that year. I have never received an apology from the school.

I made it through my experience, and although slightly bruised and on anti-depressants, I am trying to put the past behind me. My advice for long-term sufferers of school bullying is this - teachers went to school to go back to school. Thus I suspect most teachers (at least in my experience) to be immature adults who simply couldn't get enough of school while they were kids! How sad is that? ;) With that in mind I suggest that parents take some community action to make these teachers understand that saving face isn't their priority - it's the protection of the kids who are forced by law to attend the schools they feel imprisoned in.

Good luck - and I hope every victim of bullying can find it in themselves to find strength - and most importantly, to survive to tell the tale.

Back to bullying case history index